A H.E.L.P. Booklet Home Education Library Project
Beth El Synagogue Omaha, Nebraska
The word mitzvah means "command," although
it is sometimes incorrectly translated as "good deed." There are many
mitzvot which serve only a ritual function while some mitzvot
encompass fulfilling a ritual command while doing a good deed. The mitzvah
of bikkur holim, visiting the sick, is a classic example of
the kind of action which is both a mitzvah and a good deed.
This mitzvah has been considered an honored part of our tradition
since its earliest days. In the Midrash, the rabbis explain
that God visited Abraham, thereby setting an example for observance.
The reason for this emphasis is simple to understand. As long as people
are sick, there is a need to help ease their pain, both physical and
spiritual. When we take the time to visit those who are ill, we bring
healing to patients, and support to all who help them. Our tradition
teaches that each visitor takes some of the sickness from a patient.
Therefore, when this mitzvah is followed appropriately, we help bring
healing. This mitzvah should be part of what everyone in the
congregation takes as a personal obligation. It should not be left for
just the clergy to do. As with all mitzvot, the rabbis provide
guidance to those who wish to fulfill this mitzvah. With the
abbreviated hospital stays and longer home convalescence typical today,
keeping these guidelines in mind will be helpful to both patient and
visitor. The purpose of visiting the sick is to cheer them and make
them feel better. Don't bring bad news, complaints or your personal
sadness with you. If you are feeling even slightly sick yourself, do
not visit in person.
• Check with the nursing station before visiting at
the hospital; heed any signs on a patient's door. Before you visit someone
at home, it is best to call ahead to set a specific time to visit. Just
"dropping in" might bring a visit during a procedure or after a bad
night's rest. If the patient prefers no visitors, don't take it personally.
Just try again another time. Sometimes a telephone call is exactly the
right way to visit.
• Don't come either too early or too late in the day.
The rabbis suggested midday as the best time to visit, and that was
before the days of exhausting tests and procedures!
• When visiting, don't hover over the bed, sit on the
bed or remain too far away. Try to be within easy seeing and hearing
distance so the patient may remain in a restful position during your
visit.
• Keep visits short. Ten minutes is a reasonable amount
of time for a visit in the hospital, up to twenty minutes for a home
visit. Remember that the purpose of a patient's convalescing is to heal,
not to entertain those who have come to visit. While having people stop
by can be helpful, too long a visit can be exhausting for the patient.
• Remember, too, that the patient probably isn't feeling
well. Don't expect the usual perky personality. Don't be surprised if,
even after a short time, you sense it's time to go. Watch for signs
that weariness is setting in and act accordingly. Don't put the patient
into the uncomfortable position of needing to ask you to go.
• Ask, especially once someone is back at home, if
you can help out by shopping, doing some light house cleaning or running
errands. Offer to sit in another room to answer the phone or door to
allow time for uninterrupted rest. But offer help only if you mean it.
• Providing meals for immediate use or to be frozen
can be a wonderful help. Keep special dietary issues, in addition to
issues of kashrut, in mind while preparing the meals. Beth
El has a stock of "mitzvah meals." Those are meals ready for
pick up or delivery to help support a family during the stressful times
of illness. Contact Rabbi Drazen for information.
• Be considerate of the patient's feelings. Avoid asking
questions of a personal nature about the illness, plans for treatment,
therapy or reconstructive surgery. Ask only questions which you would
not find uncomfortable if they were asked of you. But, remember that
during illness or following surgery a person may be particularly sensitive
or self-conscious.
• Honor the patient's right to privacy. Share details
of a person's condition, prognosis or care only with specific permission
and consent. Even if it's okay to share, be careful to be precise.
• Siddur Sim Shalom has a liturgy for healing
in the daily amidah (see page 113). It's appropriate to say that selection
or other words of prayer for recovery when visiting. Beth El sends prayers
for recovery to hospitalized members which can be read together as well.
At Beth El, we recite a special mi-she-barakh for the sick
each Shabbat morning. Names of those in the hospital (who have
allowed their hospitalization to be public) and names called to the
synagogue office by noon Friday are included on the list. Please be
sure your patient doesn't mind being included. The mitzvah
of bikkur holim is one of the mitzvot for which, according
to the tradition, we are rewarded both in this world and the next world
(see Siddur Sim Shalom page 9). With these suggestions, we
can do our small part to help the healing process for all who are ill.
Prepared and copyright by Beth El Synagogue, Omaha, Nebraska.
A publication of H.E.L.P. Home Education Library Program
Prepared by Rabbi Paul Drazen and Cantor Emil Berkovits
Beth El Synagogue
14506 California Street
Omaha, Nebraska 68154
402-492-8550
